There is a reason why many people come across as cold. It’s usually because their care has been misused. Manipulation is now an accepted skill set and being thick skinned is how one can survive people and life. I won’t say I did not get carried away by this wave. It seemed to work quite well and hey, not getting hurt really helped. However, it manifested into something deeper and morbid, which I sadly noticed late. I stopped caring, period.
Nothing moved me. Closer to home, friends who really needed me, family that reached out to me and generally people I met on an everyday basis through work did not touch me in any way either. I skimmed through stories like a robot, getting back to whatever I was doing gladly once it was over. I was suspicious of NGOs and service people. I continued to be polite, but that was an empty shell.
I may have pulled on the same way without realising for a long time except that I suddenly saw that nothing really makes me happy anymore. I used to call myself an optimist, but that’s gone. I developed this weary sense towards life, waiting drudgingly for the end. And frankly, it is too darn boring!
So now, I have decided to come midway. I am going to care, but about things that I feel matter. I made this quick check list for myself-
1. I will feed a need, not an ego– Many a times people need you, which you can sense even if they don’t ask you. I’m going to attempt being there for them. Then there are people who want you to be there because they said so. So no, I’ll skip that.
2. Read– I can’t force myself to care. That’s not a natural state right now. But I can read what is happening everywhere. I’ll research, follow up and keep myself updated with the various causes that need human compassion. And hopefully, one day, I will yield.
3. Inspiration– I will find out what other people do. Common people, celebrities, politicians anyone. With the internal motivation dead, I need to seek external motivation.
4. Local causes– plant a tree drives, dog shelters, farmers market, schools etc. I will now push myself to lend a hand.
5. Listen– one thing that has taken a real beating are my listening skills. I will make a grand attempt to put myself in others shoes.
6. Spirituality– where ever I can find it. Yoga, worship place, home- read about the cosmos and understand the significance of a human life in this universe. Will try to seek the bigger picture.
7. Travel– this should actually come higher on the list. I will make it a point to travel as much as I can. Expand one’s mind and humble the soul.
8. Laugh– I will laugh as much as I can. Look at the lighter side, appreciate humour and crinkle the eyes more often!
9. Be patient– this is the tough part. It’s so easy to be indifferent. But I will owe it to myself to hold on till it changes me and I realise the big picture. After that, it simply wouldn’t matter.
10. Influence– this will take long, but hopefully one day I can make a substantial difference which will make this journey worthwhile.
Wish me Luck 🙂